NASA Celebrates Safe Return of Space Shuttle Discovery

After drawing a collective sigh of relief, NASA celebrated the successful landing of the Space Shuttle Discovery at Edwards Air Force Base in California this morning.

NASA engineer Trubel Bruin, dodging one of the many bursts of champagn shooting across the Houston Flight Center Control Room, declared that, “This reminds me so much of the Alan Shepard Mercury flight back in 1961….the thing went up and actually came back down in one piece….absolutely amazing!”
While the rest of the ground crew were busy weeping and slapping each other on the back, NASA Sanitation Supervisor Col Lector summed up the celebration by telling a reporter desperately in search for a quote of any kind, “Yep! Yep! Yep!,” he said. “Up she went and then around and around and around and then she comes right back to where she started. It’s just as if nothing has happened at all! That’s what we all be so happy about here today!”

In one corner the younger space engineers could be seen moshing while nearby a senior staff member was being body surfed across the room. As he passed by he was heard shouting, “This’ll poke a stick in the eye of that Khrushchev fellow! Those Ruskies may have had a head start but we’re on our way now! The space race isn’t over yet! I’ll bet we catch up to them in no time!”

After pausing a bit to reflect, Trubel Bruin wanted to make it clear that the Discovery mission had actually exceeded the triumph of the first Mercury launch. “We did ‘em one better! No water landing this time. This baby has wheels!”

NASA is expected to announce plans tomorrow that they have begun work on a new “two-seater” space craft that “will make the Gemini capsule look like a Model-T.” A highly-placed anonymous source who asked not to be identified is believed to have speculated that there was a rumor making the rounds that the new spacecraft would be named, “Edcell.” “Nothing like it,” he said. “I understand that it will even have power steering and seat belts!”

As a patriotic American I would like to congratulate NASA on the successful completion of their trail-blazing venture today. As the NASA motto puts it, “It Goes Up—And It Comes Down—That’s What We Do Best!”