Poor Embattled France Now Hit By Rail Strike

French rail workers went on strike today, shutting down nearly 60% of the country's rail service. The workers want reassurances that the government is not planning to privatize any of the national railroad system. The assurances were, of course, immediately given....no doubt with a defiant apology for the misunderstanding and a brave and courageous pledge to increase the worker's pay by whatever they suggest.

The timing of the strike is believed to have been triggered by the realization that, in the wake of the recent national riots, there were only 39 unburned (although slightly singed) cars left in the entire country, leaving commuters held hostage to the rail system.

A spokesman for the nation's disenfranchised, unemployed immigrant youths, begged to differ, saying that his sources had reported that there were at least 48 cars still operable in France and that, working in solidarity with the rail workers, his group would try and finish off the remaining cars within the next two or three days.

Meanwhile, a spokesman for Renault vehemently denied rumors that company executives had been seeing torching Renault dealerships in the hopes of increasing their declining production levels.