Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Martha Again

It seems that we can't get rid of Martha Stewart.

Apparently the producers of the "Survivor" TV show have met with representatives of Martha Stewart in hopes of turning her problems into a profit. Since Martha knows how to profit from almost anything this story would appear to have K-Mart sponsorship written all over it.

On the other hand, do we really want to watch a "real life" TV series to see which incarcerated criminal in San Quentin can go the longest without being raped, stabbed or caught with drugs? Would the winner get a free weekend pass for good behavior?

Or would the TV series involve ten people dropped deep into the Amazon Basin vying to see who can create the best "piranha party," tastiest "turtle souffle" or the cutest wedding invitations made from dried banana peels, colored with squashed aphids and trimmed out with lace carefully removed from someone's brassiere?"

If Martha is as smart as she seems she should drop this idea like a hot rock (which can, by the way, be useful for steaming shellfish right on the beach). Instead, she should release a new line of horizontally-striped black and white curtains, towels and bed linens. This touch of humor and irony would not only continue to endear her to frazzled women everywhere but would demonstrate that even everyday clothing can be recycled into practical, yet tasteful, interior decoration.