Hamas Denounces Gaza Kidnapping . . . Because They Didn't Do It
Hey, says Hamas, we're the big boys in Gaza now. We decide what you can and cannot do around here. When Fatah was in charge we fought and killed and kidnapped and did all sorts of things that were politically necessary for us to get our point across. But now that we are in power all of that has JUST GOT TO STOP!
We cannot have new terrorist groups springing up right and left "doing their own thing." Like this "al-Ahrar Brigades" (whoever they are) shooting up that Egyptian guy's tires, kidnapping him and holding him hostage. What the heck do you think you're doing? Demanding that Egypt release all Palestinian prisoners? PLEASE! The Egyptians are our friends! We don't do this sort of things to our friends. Mr al-Musali (Egypt's military attache) is our friend, too.
If you want all the Palestinian prisoners in Egypt to be set free just come over to our government offices and talk to us about it. We are reasonable people and we are sure that we can find some sort of compromise that will make everybody happy . . . or else . . . ah . . . or else we'll all just have to get along. On our terms, of course. After all, we're the government now and you kidnapping our friends makes us look bad . . . as though we aren't in control of anything.
Seriously, if you want to kidnap, murder or dismember somebody why don't you find an Israeli Jew someplace. You won't get any complaints from us on that. After all, it is part of our government policy. We've even got the bombs, missiles and suicide belts that you need down at the government warehouse. We'll take credit cards for the purchase of bombs and missiles. For the suicide belts, however, we require cash up front.
So, just let the poor man go home to his wife and kids or whatever he has at home and let him be. Then join Hamas and help us all be happy together as we put an "end to lawlessness and the kidnapping of foreigners and Arab friends".
UPDATE: 2/10 The Egyptian diplomat has been released. The AP story adds this interesting note: "Earlier in Cairo, Egyptian security officials had claimed there are no Palestinians in Egyptian jails." Sure.
We cannot have new terrorist groups springing up right and left "doing their own thing." Like this "al-Ahrar Brigades" (whoever they are) shooting up that Egyptian guy's tires, kidnapping him and holding him hostage. What the heck do you think you're doing? Demanding that Egypt release all Palestinian prisoners? PLEASE! The Egyptians are our friends! We don't do this sort of things to our friends. Mr al-Musali (Egypt's military attache) is our friend, too.
If you want all the Palestinian prisoners in Egypt to be set free just come over to our government offices and talk to us about it. We are reasonable people and we are sure that we can find some sort of compromise that will make everybody happy . . . or else . . . ah . . . or else we'll all just have to get along. On our terms, of course. After all, we're the government now and you kidnapping our friends makes us look bad . . . as though we aren't in control of anything.
Seriously, if you want to kidnap, murder or dismember somebody why don't you find an Israeli Jew someplace. You won't get any complaints from us on that. After all, it is part of our government policy. We've even got the bombs, missiles and suicide belts that you need down at the government warehouse. We'll take credit cards for the purchase of bombs and missiles. For the suicide belts, however, we require cash up front.
So, just let the poor man go home to his wife and kids or whatever he has at home and let him be. Then join Hamas and help us all be happy together as we put an "end to lawlessness and the kidnapping of foreigners and Arab friends".
UPDATE: 2/10 The Egyptian diplomat has been released. The AP story adds this interesting note: "Earlier in Cairo, Egyptian security officials had claimed there are no Palestinians in Egyptian jails." Sure.
posted by Bird of Paradise at 2:33 PM
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