Terrell Owens Thinks He's Like Jesus

An uncredited article in today's Honolulu Advertiser Sports section lampoons self-proclaimed NFL superstar Terrell Owens so beautifully that I am reproducing it in full. Enjoy!

Asked about his contract problem with the Philadelphia Eagles, Terrell Owens, who is expected to report with most other veterans today, told the Miami Herald's Jason Cole:

"At the end of the day, I don't have to worry about what people think of me, whether they hate me or not.

"People hated on Jesus. They threw stones at him and tried to kill him, so how can I complain or worry about what people think?"

Phil "Sheridan of the Philadelphia Inquirer said he couldn't find any mention in the King James version of the Bible of people who "hated on Jesus," but said there seems to be "a direct correlation between the man the New Testament says died for the sins of all mankind and T.O., who wants a new contract from the Eagles."

Sheridan's findings:

--"Jesus was born in Bethlehem. Owens' Eagle career began at training camp in Behlehem, Pa."

--Jesus fed the multitudes with loaves and fishes. Owens wants more bread and thinks there was something fishy about his original deal."

--"Jesus made wine from water. Owens made whine from a $49 million contract."