Darwin's Theory of Evolution Proved! New (sort of) Species of Ivory-Billed Woodpecker Appears

Darwin's theory of macro-evolution has long been attacked and rejected by fundamentalist Christians and even a few scientists with, at least on paper, brains.

This week, however, the argument that there is absolutely not one shred of physical evidence that illustrates this theory conclusively has at last been put to rest. The evidence was recently discovered in an isolated back-country forest in Arkansas.
It seems that, after 60 years of extinction, the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker has re-created itself, either from nothing or as a genetic mutation of (perhaps) the smaller Pilated Woodpecker. So, it seems that Darwin was right all along and the young-earth creationists and Intelligent-Design folks will have to throw in their towels, burn their Bibles and scrape those fish things off or their cars.....you know, the big fish with "Jesus" or "IXTHUS" on the side and wide-open mouths about to gobble up the little fish with the tiny legs poking out underneath.

Of course it is inevitable that some right-wing-fundamentalist-religious-wing-nut will try to push some absurd theory that the scientists were wrong all along and that the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker was never extinct to begin with! Do these people think that Darwinists are just a bunch of idiots? Everybody who's anybody knows that the most self-evident explaination is never the real one! That would be too simple and obvious, not to mention possibly putting many Darwinists out of a job.
In any case, Darwinists would much rather shave with a sharpened piece of flint than to use that old-fashioned Occam's Razor!